Horatio-Hotly had very strong views
On people and places and things in the news.
He hated all game shows and sport he despised;
Political leaders were often chastised.
No one escaped young Horatio’s rants,
Not grown-ups or children or teen miscreants.

One morning at breakfast, by way of example,
His mother had asked him to try a small sample
Of blueberry jam that she’d lovingly made.
He gave her a broadside, a full on tirade:
“This fruit is from Spain!” barked the boy with a squint,
“Do you know what this means for our carbon footprint?”

He never held back from his blunt observations,
His life was afflicted by endless frustrations!
Gum-chewers, litterers, bad punctuation,
Fat people, thin people, noisy gustation.
He sighed and he tutted while shaking his head,
Just being in public would make him see red.

Hector was tactless and very loquacious,
He went on and on, oh that boy was audacious!
He angered those listening with every address,
But Hector Horatio couldn’t care less.
His values were firm and his oratory loud,
The boy was obnoxious and horribly proud.

“Your views are ridiculous!” Hector would sneer
At radio talk shows (though no one could hear),
Shouting at callers whose views he deplored,
And facile DJs whose style he abhorred.
There wasn’t a subject he wouldn’t debate,
But Hector’s belligerence started to grate.

On Facebook he’d lost nearly all of his friends,
Through comments so rude they were bound to offend.
When Twitter had banned him he started a blog:
“The Righteous Tirade of a Young Demagogue.”
But most of his time was spent dealing with trolls,
And Hector lost sight of more worthy life goals.

Ranting online meant that Hector missed out,
With no time for playing or messing about.
His homework was late and his teacher complained
That lessons with Hector had got rather strained.
He argued all day as a matter of principle,
Thinking himself to be nigh on invincible.

Then one day he picked on the wrong sort of chap,
A hulk with tattoos and a black baseball cap.
Now Hector despised those who liked to be inked,
And said so quite loudly before he could think.
The man turned around with a furious shout
And landed a punch that would knock Hector out.

Battered and bruised, Hector sagely reflected,
That people’s appearance was better respected.
He’d stand up for causes he knew to be right,
And only pick battles he needed to fight.
Some choices and views might not be to his taste,
But life was too short for young Hector to waste.

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