Zillah attended a top public school,
A college near Oxford with numerous rules.
They taught girls deportment and ladylike graces,
Lacrosse was obligatory (yes, one of those places).
In short it was perfect for those who aspired
To socially climb and be greatly admired.

Zillah had boarded from quite a young age,
Her mummy and daddy had got to the stage
Where Zillah’s demands for their constant attention
Had caused quite significant marital tension.
Her mother resented the mess and the noise,
While daddy was missing his golf with the boys.

So Zillah was packed off to school with a wave,
“Don’t cry,” they exhorted, “come on now, be brave!”
But things went awry and soon phone calls ensued,
The girl was disruptive and often quite rude.
Her housemaster added she still wet the bed,
Perhaps she should stay with her parents instead?

But Mr and Mrs Godiva demurred,
Explaining that Zillah could surely be cured.
“She just needs some time to make friends and you’ll find
That Zillah is clever and gentle and kind.”
The school was reminded how much it could lose
If ever their failure was seen in the news.

Eventually after some years of unrest,
Their daughter no longer seemed quite so depressed.
Indeed she became quite a popular sort,
The head of her house and proficient at sport.
Her teachers believed that she’d turned out alright,
But none of them knew what she did late at night!

As soon as her classmates were tucked up in bed,
Young Zillah climbed out of the window instead.
Across the dark playground she crept like a thief,
And reached the school fence which she crawled underneath.
Not too far beyond was a hut in the wood,
And there, sad to say, she got up to no good.

After some time came a knock at the door,
And in came some friends from the prep school next door.
Their pockets were stuffed full of chocolates and sweets,
While Zillah had crisps and a bagful of treats.
They opened some bottles of pop and tucked in,
Then somebody brought out a bottle of gin.

“How cool!” whispered Zillah while reading the label,
“I know,” said her friend, “it was under a table.
I snatched it while doing some lines in detention,
For talking in class and not paying attention.”
Zillah drank most of the strange tasting drink,
“Just try it!” she hiccupped and gave them a wink.

Her friends didn’t like it, so Zillah downed more,
Then said she felt sick and collapsed on the floor.
Her vision distorted and soon she turned white,
The girls who were with her ran off in a fright.
Poor Zillah was poisoned and died sad to say,
For gin is not something you drink in this way.