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I hope the options below are self explanatory. It’s a bit clunky, but there is a separate ‘add to cart’ button for different editions/number of copies you want. This is due postage rates changing as the weight increases. If you want more than five copies, or they need to be posted outside the UK, please complete the small form below so that I can work out postage costs. I’ll then send you a secure link so that you can pay the exact amount rather than using guesswork/divination.  

Scroll down (waaaay down) for information about shipping and the different editions.

Matt Hardback Edition (no dust jacket)
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Collection in person (no dust jacket= £12.99 / copy.  If you click this option, I’m assuming you are a friend or relation and know where I live. Otherwise, I’m not giving out my address in case you’re a nutter. If you want more than one copy and are going to collect in person, you can just add more once you’ve added one to your cart.

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UK delivery: 1 copy (no dust jacket= £12.99 + 3.62 p&p = £16.61. 

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UK delivery: 2 copies (no dust jacket) = £25.98 + £3.84 p&p = £29.82.   

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UK delivery: 3 copies (no dust jacket) = £38.97 + £7.76 p&p = £46.73.   

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UK delivery: 4 copies (no dust jacket) = £51.95 + £9.01 p&p = £60.97.   

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UK delivery: 5 copies (no dust jacket) = £64.95 + £9.14 p&p = £74.09.   

Hardback Edition (with dust jacket)

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Collection in person (with dust jacket= £16.99 / copy.  If you click this option (as I say above, but I may as well repeat it), I’m assuming you are a friend or relation and know where I live. If you want more than one copy and are going to collect in person, you can just add more once you’ve added one to your cart.

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UK delivery: 1 copy  (with dust jacket) = £16.99 + 3.62 p&p = £20.61.

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UK delivery: 2 copies  (with dust jacket) = £33.98 + £3.84 p&p = £37.82.  

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UK delivery: 3 copies  (with dust jacket) = £50.97 + £9.00 p&p = £59.97.  

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UK delivery: 4 copies  (with dust jacket) = £67.96 + £9.17 p&p = £77.13.  

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UK delivery: 5 copies  (with dust jacket) = £84.95 + £9.39 p&p = £94.34.  

If you don’t live in the UK or want more than five copies

Please fill out this short form…

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Your name
If you want both editions, please say how many of each type.

Postage / delivery times

Because I decided not to sell my soul to Amazon, I’m afraid you won’t get your book straight away. I know, I know, it’s bitterly disappointing. Sadly, Amazon don’t allow self-published authors to sell hardback books – it’s paperbacks, eBooks or audiobooks only.

In terms of delivery times, I live in a small village a few miles from the nearest post office (just to manage your expectations) and don’t have a fleet of vans on standby outside my house. However, I will however get your order out as as quickly as I can via Royal Mail 1st class (1 copy), RM 2nd class (2 copies) or via Hermes Standard (2-3 working days for 3+). I promise I will do my best. If you need your order more quickly, fill out the form above and I’ll send you a secure link to pay including any additional postage costs.

What you’re buying…

The Strange Tales of the Alphabet Children is an 84-page full-colour hardback book. Size-wise, it’s 20cm x 25cm, and for the printing geeks among you, it has been printed on 170gsm silk paper, casebound in stitched sections. There are two versions, just to make life complicated.

The first comes without a dust jacket. It’s called a PPC (printed paper case) and is printed full colour with a matt laminate. It’s very durable and sleek and probably the best option for destructive children (i.e. all children).

The second limited edition version (a mere 150 copies available, unless they all sell out, in which case I may order more) comes with a lovely, glossy dust jacket. Underneath said dust jacket is a black Wibalin buckram effect hardback (that sort of textured finish you always get under a dust jacket), which has been silver foil printed on the spine and on the cover. Needless to say, dust jackets are very rippable in the wrong hands, so think carefully.  The dust jacket edition costs another four quid, as they were far more expensive to produce.